the beginning of my Czech adventure started HERE
I had a couple other spa treatments scheduled this morning. The first was pretty bizarre. The massage therapist wheeled this cart that looked like it should hold mozzarella sticks for a buffet into my curtained off part of a room in the spa. She scooped scalding hot spent grains out of it, and spread them all over the area of the massage table that would come in contact with my back. The table had been covered with a plastic sheet. I SLOWLY lowered myself onto the grains. It took a few minutes. I mean, seriously, they were SUPER fucking hot. When I was finally able to lay down without TOO much pain, the woman wrapped me up in the plastic and covered me with blankets. I immediately started to sweat. It actually felt really good once the temperature of the grains lowered a little bit, and I got over the fact that I couldn't really move my ar

That wasn't the weird part. The weird part was the music. My first spa treatment, she had played Enya. It's pretty early 90's new age cheese, but I guess it's what I'd expect from a Czech spa. After she wrapped me up and left, she put on this best of Barry White CD. Definitely not your typical spa music. On the other side of my curtain were two people getting a couples massage. They pretty much talked and giggled the whole time... That is until the guy started to snore. 

So after 20 minutes of sweating to Barry White, the massage therapist comes back in and leads me to a shower. This is all without a towel. I'm like strutting around naked, showing off my Hotcakes ass tattoo, and showering while the woman cleans up the grain mess. 

I wash all the grains off my body, and I'm led back to the massage table to get a half hour massage. This one was actually better than the first. When she wasn't massaging my ass, she had me sit up most of the time and worked on my back and shoulders. Barry White finished singing, the guy stopped snoring, and then I went back up to my room to try and wash the 13 gallons of massage oil of my skin.

Another reason I decided to go to the Czech Republic, and more specifically Chodovar, was that they were holding their annual Barrel Rolling Competition this weekend. The sound guys had this awesome CD of lovey-dovey American R&B music on loop for three hours while everything was being set up. They played a few Sade songs I'd never heard (five times).

I managed to eat a ton of Czech food while I was waiting for them to get started. Everything was SO cheap, especially compared to Germany. Beers at the festival were only $1.25. I had this amazing piece of grilled beef. Then I ate a Trdelník, which is a traditional sweet Czech pastry, made from rolled dough, wrapped around a stick then grilled and topped with a sugar and walnut mix. I wanted to give everything a try, so I also had a Czeck Klobása (kielbasa), and a Bramborák, which is basically a potato pancake with meat, onions, and spices in it. All really good, except the kielbasa. It was super fatty and gross.

I also checked out this weird little festival a couple blocks away that had bumper cars themed with Mercedes and Michael Jackson. Nobody bumped into each other. They just drove around in circles.

They eventually got started, but then they did a couple hours of talking and had a parade, so unfortunately, I only had time to stay for the first couple races. I had to get my rental car back and make my train to Munich. It was awesome just to listen to the MC do his thing. He was all dressed up in this Eurotrash club outfit, which showed off his mullet-ish hairdo well.

I've got a bunch of videos below of the marching band and cheerleaders. Such a weird band. There were a couple old dudes... some really young kids... It was like a cartoon. The played When the Saints Go Marching In and the Woody Woodpecker theme song.

Then the races finally started! The first was a couple of old guys. They must have been politicians or brewery owners or something. They rolled these super big barrels, and the winner got to tap the first cask of beer. Before I had to run to my car, I managed to also catch the first race in the women's division. There was one duo that had obviously spent a ton of time practicing, and two other teams that kept bumping into each other and almost running off the course. All really good stuff. Brenner Brewing will DEFINITELY be doing some barrel racing events, and of COURSE we'll have a marching band!!

check out the videos below.